The Alt-Lympics

The 100m has run its race. This Olympics thing needs a glow up, so here’s how you do it.

All things must evolve

We here in the back bedrooms of this house always, always salute the achievements of our athletes.

But all things must evolve. That’s nature. And the Olympics can be no different. I mean, we love track and field.

“Maybe test the Wild Man strength of that quiet lad in warehousing who eats protein from a plastic bag?”

A place where you can come together and support the most amazing feats of athleticism known to man, where boundaries aren’t just pushed they are set on fire and catapulted out of the stadium.

Of course, there’s also that level of achievement which is you sitting there watching your mate stack it right before the finish line. Like this.

"The Olympics could be so much better" "Yeah! Some new events to freshen it up"

Simply put we’re saying discus throw: fine.
Swimming: wet.
That slow walking thing: WEIRD.

We need to change things up a little. Maybe take inspiration from the grey cage of office life? An odd place to dig out some mind bending athletic feats. But check this out from Japan, where they’ve taken your office chair and said: let’s roll.

The office Alt-Lympics

To be fair, there are daily pursuits in the office that would make seriously good viewing.

So drop the dumbbells.
Nixt the power lifting.
Suit up.
Tie on.

Maybe test the Wild Man strength of that quiet lad in warehousing who eats protein from a plastic bag? Let’s smash it out.

Or take things outdoors?

The car park is your playground. Your Olympia. A real test of stamina, nerves and the seam line of your suit trousers. Parkour!

Face off against the foodies in a herculean “How Many M&Ms can you Stuff in your Mouth contest?”

Look, there’s lots to ponder. From rabbit hurdles, with Arnie Schwarzenegger on comms to a very good reason to make the pole vault illegal.

 

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A post shared by Richard A Zuniga Jr (@geekfireink)

@jumpersworld THIS right here is why I don’t pole vault! 😱🫣🥜 (IG: rachelzastrow) #athletics #polevault #fail #accident ♬ original sound – Jumpers World

Feeling inspired?

Got any ideas to chuck into the long jump pit? We want some new event ideas to help give the Olympics a new look.

Drop them over to us on the socials and will grab the best 3 and share them back on Insta. And the lucky competitors will win themselves some Taste Original goodies. Healthy snacking, of course, is guaranteed.

Get set…GO.

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