Aaaah Bonny Night.
What a time to be alive (not alight, alive). When else can you be outside, freezing cold, soaking wet and yet mere inches away from immediate immolation?
How else can you age your parents in seconds as you wield a sparkler like some kind of pyromaniac Harry Potter?
“There’s a great big world beyond our sacred land. We aren’t alone when it comes to burning stuff and Loud Noises.”
Or shake down your local community by constructing a New Human built from your dead Nan’s clothes, calling it a Guy, then demanding (multiple) pennies for it?
UK bonfire night culture baby, it’s unmatched right? And yet… We’ve had a look around you know? At the great big world beyond our sacred land and found that we aren’t alone when it comes to burning stuff and Loud Noises.
Spain
These lunatics know how to get it poppin. In fact, we could have done a whole bit on the Spanish love of loud.
Las Fallas
But we’ll focus on Las Fallas. The biggest street party you’ve never heard of in the greatest city you’ve never visited: Valencia.
Every March, it’s mayhem. 5 million plus people, on the streets, and bonfires galore as communities around the city build their ninots or sculptures made from papier-mache, cardboard etc.
Often with a nod to pop culture or satire – they’ve “burnt” everyone from Donald Trump to the Spanish Royal Family – the ninots form the artistic heart of the Fallas.
La Mascletà
For raw noise trek down to the Plaza de Ayuntamiento and get stuck into La Mascletà. 120 decibels of roaring fireworks and whizzbangs. Every day, at 2pm, for over 2 weeks. RIP your ears.
Hong Kong – Lunar New Year
Loony New Year, am I right? Maybe. Look, this one might be further afield, but it’s no less spectacular. It can explode any time from late January to early February.
Set against the Hong Kong skyline, down by the harbour, we are talking serious pyro, guys. Nearly 24,000 fireworks earlier this year, to be exact. Boom. That kinda pockets the whole Guy Fawkes thing a bit, wouldn’t you say?
USA – 4th July
Over the pond, a mysterious place where aluminium is aloooominum, where our quaint hometowns are just downright disrespected, reside our American cousins.
Who despite getting words wrong all the time, still know how to make a good old racket.
Because on their Independence Day – a celebration of not being wedded to us, and who can blame them, frankly? – the skies are packed with red, white and blue. But last year, on the 4th of July, they popped something a little different.
A drone show. Who knows, maybe this marks the end of fireworks? At last, good news for cats and dogs the world over.
