Ho Ho Ho hold up
What has happened to Christmas? What have we done to this, the most wonderful time of year?
You used to know it was Christmas time when you got walloped round the ear for munching viciously alcoholic chocolate liqueurs.
Remember those? The ones your parents kept to one side to stuff down your Grandad’s gob to send him to sleep. Can’t get them anymore, confiscated by the fun police!
“These days you’d have trustafarians from Just Stop Something strapped to your front lawn as soon as you lit up a battery powered candle.”
What about mind-blowing lightshows that your Griswaldian neighbours would put on?
These days you’d have trustafarians from Just Stop Something strapped to your front lawn as soon as you lit up a battery powered candle.
Also, take the hallowed fir, the centre piece of the home over December. The Christmas tree. Health and safety trying to ban these, no doubt, in case of a little tumble.
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Yes, there’s not much left now that I’d call Christmas. Can’t even do a good old office knees up now, without HR getting involved and a week’s worth of apologies being doled out.
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I often think if the Baby Jesus was around now, he’d despair of what we’ve done to his birthday.
This is how we used to do it.
Tinsel.
A room full of body-popping kids.
A butchered classic.
