The beach strut. The poolside prowl. The sun lounge.
All skills any thriving male must master if he is to earn the respect of his fellow holiday makers – and his own family, actually – as we hit sunny season.
But you know what can lift you into the Holiday Legends Hall of Fame? Your ability to blend in effortlessly to your new surroundings.
“In France, you’ll need to delicately arrange your “valuables” in a pair of speedos if you wish to enjoy a refreshing dip.”
To be at one with a new and intoxicatingly laid out roundabout system.
To order that wonderfully chilled cerveza (sir-vase-aaaaaaa!) with a hint of an accent.
To show off your sporting prowess at one of the various beach sports on offer.
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Anyway, wherever you land this summer, here’s a few pointers on how to get it right.
How To…Taste the Wine Like a Pro
This can be a make-or-break moment for your personal brand.
A moment of great responsibility has arrived because not only have you ordered wine, you’ve ordered wine from a menu you don’t understand and several people are watching. And waiting.
Is this guy the real deal or just regular tourist cannon fodder?
Show them you mean business.
Dries Roelvink / man tastes / tasting wine at a fancy restaurant pic.twitter.com/wBSofu7K6X
— reaction memes ➡️ @VideoReacts (@VideoReacts) July 1, 2024
How To…Swim Like a Frenchman
Aaaaaaah, la France!
Paris and the Eiffel Tower.
Frogs’ legs and UHT milk.
A country where you can marry a dead person but you must not, under any circumstances, call your dog Napoleon* (*Allegedly!)
It’s quirky, for sure. And you know, it’s got a budgy smuggler problem.
Yup, as the world celebrates diverse poolside fashions, over on the other side of the Channel they’ve got some pretty serious rules when it comes to what you can wear, ahem, près de la piscine.
You’ll need to delicately arrange your “valuables” in a pair of speedos if you wish to enjoy a refreshing dip. Law since 1903, apparently.
“Where can you find amazing food, amazing scenery and… amazing toilets?”
How To…Go to the Loo in Japan
Maybe the Med is a bit meh? America a bit too intense? Australia too full of lethal insects? And Australians?
Maybe you need a trip to…Japan. Amazing food. Amazing scenery. Amazing toilets.
How To…Watch Roadworks like an Italian
Bit more a niche pursuit for holidaymakers this, but a thrilling one nonetheless.
Picture the scene: you’re strolling around a glorious piazza, sun glinting off the cobbles, fashionable locals with Champions League-level tans smile as they pass.
Then you spot them: old Italian gentlemen gathering to observe roadworks. Be a part of this moment with them.
And remember…
Yup, there are many ways to act local and fit in if you’re hopping off this summer. But most of all remember: YOU are on holiday.
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