November. Nightmare fuel.
Short days.
Long nights.
Darkness.
But look, we can muddle our way through, right chaps? Up and out, across the barren tundra, stiff upper lip and all that. My solution, though, isn’t hiding in the pub – as tempting as that might be. Or going to the gym more to escape the hell of outside.
No, I’ve got different plans. Shopping.
“It’s called Black Friday. It turns out that Noooooooovember is a man’s month to shine on the shopping front.”
@sockssyrup Black Friday isn’t quite what it used to be. Back in November 2014, people would do anything to bag a bargain. Police had to be called to a number of ‘mini riots’, as customers battled over discounted polaroid TVs. Staff in supermarkets were powerless to prevent the frenzy. Even the police struggled to detach determined shoppers from their prize finds. #blackfriday #shoppingaddict #holidaycountdown ♬ Choppa Dump Em – 725
It’s called Black Friday. A whole week of spending money we don’t have on stuff we don’t need before we get to Christmas when we do need that money for stuff people might actually want.
Anyway, sod it, it’s grim out. Gentlemen, let’s bargain hunt.
Can’t sleep?
Your back giving you a bit of jip because you have had the temerity to live beyond your 30s? I know the feeling. But don’t worry. Just invest in a new mattress.
Bargain Hunt rating: 4/5
Look your best, be your best
Don’t let November stop you from being your very finest self.
Pound the high streets, traverse the worldwide web, and dive deep into the world of men’s beauty products. Proceed, as ever, with extreme caution.
Bargain Hunt rating: 3/5
Become a low-effort superhero
It’s sad to think that normal men like you and me, with love handles and secret cheese habits, might never reach our full potential.
We might never become: superheroes. Here’s the thing though. Maybe we can just pretend to be? Maybe all it takes is smart thinking, rather than tight body suits and silly voices?
Bargain Hunt rating: 4.5/5
Retail therapy? More like HEtail therapy
So, it turns out that Noooooooovember is a man’s month to shine on the shopping front.
Good luck out there. Shop till you drop.
