Nowhere is the Beautiful Game at its most ravishing than when it’s a World Cup.
Once, every four years, a tournament takes place that forces people to pretend they know ball melts brains when England get into the knockouts, and p*sses off that one relative has a nightmare figuring out what’s on telly because of those “silly men with their silly balls”.
Well, hopefully they’re on about the football?
Anyway, we move.
Welcome to a pint-sized digital wander through the next month of your life, whether you like it or not. Trivia, funnies, hidden gems.
“Everything you need to get into the spirit of WC26.”
Hopefully it starts better than WC94, right Diana?
Bigger. But better?
Everyone is wanging on about there being 48 teams at this World Cup. It makes it the biggest, ever, apparently?
Well, we say the more the merrier. Here’s a look at some of the lesser-known contenders, with recipe ideas and – maybe – some fashion tips, too.
Curaçao
- Population: 160,000
- National dish: Keshi Yena
- Dress to impress: Expect big, bright colours at the World Cup, from dresses to extravagant headwear and https://www.instagram.com/p/DUiy3iBCIY1/)
- World Cup trivia: 2026 is the first time they’ve qualified! And they are the smallest nation to ever do it, too.
Haiti
- Population: 12 million
- National dish: Haitian Griot
- Dress to impress: Big. Colourful. Happy. This is the Haitian Karabela dress.
- World Cup trivia: Went 1-0 up against hot World Cup favourites Italy in the 1974 tournament, ending legendary goalkeeper Dino Zoff’s 1,000 minute streak of clean sheets, too. Ok, they lost the game, but still a great moment.
DR Congo
- Population: 120 million
- National dish: Moambe chicken
- Dress to impress: Fix up, look sharp, and dress like a Congolese Dandy.
- World Cup trivia: Qualified in 1974, as Zaire. And gave the world an amazing moment when rightback Mwepu Illunga sprinted out of a wall to boot away a Brazil free-kick in an attempt to keep the score down – and get his team home safe.
The voices of the game
Booming into living rooms, crackling through earpods and spluttering out of car radios this summer will be the dulcet tones of people we trust to cup our ears and talk us through the action as, er, Iran face-off against New Zealand at 2am.
We’re talking, of course, about commentators.
@alan.partridge.ah A ha! In honour of the champions league final being held tonight, let’s take a trip back to Alan’s World Cup 1994 feature. What Alan doesn’t know about football you could write it on the back of a stamp… #AlanPartridge #fyp #OldSchoolAlan #thedaytoday #bbc #footballtiktok #footbal #championsleague #championsleaguefinal #goal #1994 #worldcup94 #usa94 #munich #psg #inter #viral #Sports #ComedyGold ♬ original sound – Alan Partridge – Aha!
“Like them or loathe them, they soundtrack the greatest moments from the greatest game on the planet.”
The goals.
The saves.
The close shaves.
The Italians beating Germany in a legendary world cup semi-final in 2006 soundtracked by Italian TV commentary.
Goooooooooals
If there’s one thing a World Cup gives us, it’s goals.
And boy have there been some belters over the years.
In a move likely to spark debate, uproar and possibly some sort of awkward pushing and pulling between long term friends having one of those weird, low-level fallouts that often don’t become a full scrap, but make everyone feel reeeeeeaaallly uncomfortable, here’s our top 5 list for you all to argue over.
Maradona (Argentina vs England, Mexico 1986)
The dribbling past the whole England team and scoring one.
Not the hand of God one.
Bergkamp (Holland vs Argentina, France 1998)
Pinger of a pass.
Disgusting first touch.
Cool finish.
Oh yes.
Carlos Alberto (Brazil vs Italy, Mexico 1970)
The perfect team goal doesn’t exist.
Or does it?
Esteban Cambiasso (Argentina vs Serbia, Germany 2006)
789,782 passes before “Steve” slotted this one, for (possibly) one of the best teams never to win a World Cup.
@vmsoccerlegends ESTEBAN CAMBIASSO 🇦🇷 – GOAL VS SERBIA & MONTENEGRO (2006) #estebancambiasso #inter #argentina #riverplate #worldcup ♬ sonido original – VM Soccer Legends
Geoff Hurst (England vs Germany, England 1966)
Which is a somewhat ironic piece of commentary, given how much the English drone on about 1966, and all that. Good goal though!
The World Cup? Never heard of it.
There are 3 hosts this year for the World Cup.
Mexico – undisputedly a football nation.
Canada – getting there, tbh.
And then the behemoth: the United States of America.
The last great frontier for the global conquest of association football.
“But there’s just one small problem. They don’t like football. Or “soccer”. Ahem. At least not that much.”
From not knowing the most famous players in the world to not knowing that the World Cup is actually on in their backyard, it seems we’ve got a long way to go before the Land of the Free is getting into the ins and outs of the offside rule.
Do they know there’s a World Cup on?
Do they know any of the players?
Oh Flower of Scotland!
After 28 years of hurt, the Tartan Army is back.
And, if early scenes from Boston – host of their first match against Haiti – are to be believed, they’re back with something of a bang.
“They always bring booze, banter and of course, bagpipes”
It’s not just at the football you’ll find them, either.
Bemused baseball fans were left wondering if they were in a fever dream when Fenway Park – a sort of Wembley for what’s known as America’s game – was captured by thousands of people in kilts and Tam o’Shanters.
So, altogether now: Yes Sir, I Can Boogie…
@bbc_scotland ‘Yes Sir, I Can Boogie!’ 🎶 Scotland fans party at Fenway Park! ⚾️🏴 #BBCFootball #FifaWorldCup ♬ original sound – BBC Scotland
