Caught in an App Romance?

Scroll. Swipe. Ghost. Repeat. Our Kids are here with the tea when it comes to dating, Gen Z style. Are apps out, IRL back in? Less nightclub, more run club when it comes to lurrrrve?

We’re facing up to hard, cold facts

No, not that our real Dad could have been some guy off something called Coronation Street. Dodged one there. No, turns out we’re lowkey stressed about love.

Will we find it?
Where will we find it?
What is it?

“Getting out and about IRL might be the way to date now… and that means getting up close and personal with other humans, not just the also-real-until-you-meet-them-digital-people on your phone. I know, terrifying.”

Because the world is changing. The Swipe game is dead. The admin’s a nightmare. Check this out:

UK’s top four dating apps had seen a dip in use since 2023, with Tinder losing 600,000 users, Hinge shedding 131,000, Bumble declining by 368,000 and Grindr falling by 11,000.

I mean, is it any surprise? Dropping what, near £10 a month to die of cringe, thanks to the driest profiles out there. It is not happening mate.

 

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Thing is, actually getting out and about might be the one you know. IRL. Maybe run clubs baby?

And that means getting up close and personal with other humans, not just the also-real-until-you-meet-them-digital-people on your phone. I know, terrifying.

So, here’s some hot tips so you can become the CEO of Love.

Tip 1: Line up your crush

Identify the target. Got someone in mind? Him from Accounts? Her from that coffee spot? The PT with the unreal rizz?

Get focused. Take your time. Remember: if you’ve not done this for a while, your chirpse game might need a bit of TLC.

 

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Tip 2: Fix up, look sharp

Remember: glow-up. You’ve got zero chance if you’re cutting about like your Mum still gets you dressed. So get that fit right. Not wrong.

@darius.krm those are the worst fits ever💀💀 #outfits #fashion #fyp ♬ original sound – ️

“This is real life dating, no time to think up a 4-line response while you leave someone sweating on the blue ticks. You’re going face-to-face here.”

Tip 3: Level it up

Ok, this is it. Your date is locked in. Venue’s chosen. It. Is. On. So play it out in your head.

This is real life dating, no time to think up a 4-line response while you leave someone sweating on the blue ticks.

You’re going face-to-face here. You’re in the trenches. Remember preparation is key.

Tip 4: Fix up, look sharp

We’ve all got deep social anxiety. Hey, it’s what being in your 20s is all about, right? Well, alright. But we say: when it comes to date night, just crack on.

Enjoy.
Be yourself.
Let them be themselves.
And let romance happen.

Fire for your heart, head and ears

We thought we’d help set the mood for love with a playlist that takes you from pre-game to the dancefloor (if things go well…).

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